Some [people] don't think that I will take action if threatened.

I hired a lawyer.

I'm abandoning my past and I'm considering what paths in life I have to take to become who I want to.

I've been unemployed now for a month and a half and I've become bord.

I love living with my grandmother; the things that bothered me aren't as much a bother anymore, she makes me feel at ease.

I still miss my mother very much, and when I go outside I still look for her or people who look like her.

Lately I look at myself in the mirror and see a bit of a resembelance - which I never noticed.

Yesterday Tonock my first cat ever passed away, he was almost 18.

My father keeps calling thinking I will talk to him.

I've hired a lawyer, I've left that life somewhere far away.
And when I settle down and have kids of my own, I will never treat them in an abusive way.



The past 8 months have been a transition.
I've dremnt more vivid and disturbing things.
Sooner or later the dream world might swallow me up, so I hope to never bang my head.
I was saught out by playboy and had a position at MTV.
but none of them panned out cause of what happened.
I have consolidated and cut back;
I've come to the assumption I only have 1 - 2 friends - Since I dont have any of the others call me back.

But I'm not going to fight to be acknowledged, or to be trusted in. If I cant be seen as an source of love, advice and trust - why bother?

Years mean nothing when I still have the ability to speak.

Here's to Stan and Renita; who reminded me what it is to be a friend.

And lots of love to the readers of my journals in the past - Sorry I haven't been checking in or reading/ looking at YOUR stuff; I just don't feel like wasting time on DA anymore.